It seems harder everyday. 

He left me with all his memories, his smile. And my heart hurts every step. It's so hard losing him. I'm just sitting still. Even when I'm trying to be happy. My heart keeps on hurting. 

I went to the beach today. I walked through the water, my feet between the sand and cold from the water's edge. I swam in the same ocean with him. I looked out at the waves, his image swimming in the waves, I held onto him for dear life that day, and he stood strong, holding me up. I backed away from the sand, I wrote notes in the sand. I felt like crying, right then and there. The wind blowing through my hair. 

It hurts. Even in my bedroom there are memories. No one is there anymore. I want someone. It's that basic. I want someone, to share my life with, anyone. For only me. Because I'm selfish, and want people all to myself. I get jealous so easily. 

So. I want someone. Cause I'm empty. Everyday. I take everyday as it comes, laugh, smile, cry, hurt. And there is no one. 

Why can't there be someone now. To help me up, and keep me afoot. I'm drowning in my own self doubt.