Lost Then Found

Mah first blog, yayz me. Okay so I guess I'll just start right off the bat. 

Ugh, Life's a drama isn't it. So Kenny.. I really dunno what to do about him, at first, I hatedh im, that I wasn't good enough, yet.. there is this nagging feeling that he still cares. I can't shake that feeling that, I should start to love him, even though I know that, he's pretty fucked up. I'm afraid of loving him, as I probably know that he'll never amount to it, and it's pretty much what caused my pain and suffering. So, I'm pretty confused on the whole thing. It really drives me crazy and I think I'll just wait, I won't talk to him. Pretty hrash though, cause I tlaked to him earlier and he said, he still cares about me, that he knows he's fucked up. So.. I'm a bit stuck. Pretty sucky ain't it. I've cried so many fucking times for him its.. its just nuts. I've always been told by him that I'm never good enough, like, why can't i be cute, sexy, or pretty. Well Sorry. I'm only Cammie and it's all i'm EVER gonna be. So too bad. Sometimes I just wanan go cryign to him, becuase I know he will still hold me and tell me I'll be okay. Yet, he does all these things hurting me. I used to be so obsessed with him, and well, it just hurt. So fucking much. Well, that's all the buisness on Him. Now, for the other one. Ugh, well not much is happening between me and my ex, Brian. We're pretty okay as friends so it's going smoothly for that. Unfortunately for me, I have lost the two best guy friends I had. Now I'm pretty lost. Oh well. Haha.

Now, what else is going on, oh yea, I am really looking forward to this Saturday. Hopefully I finally get off my braces and have a nice smile (: Then after I'm heading oevr to Kristina's and get some cwalking in. I really need tons of practice, I didn't practice at ALL today cause I was so tired. I also forgot to do my pushups.. DAMN. LOL I'll do them later tonight. Let's see.. oh, I am really looking forward to DragonBoating during the summer. I REALLY hope I can get in and be able to dragonboat x] It'll be SHWEET. Also I wanna really work on my cwalking, I need to work on my style and everything. Also hopefully, I'll be lookign forward to ending of being a Freshman. Sophamore year HERE I COME. But that's not gonna be for awhile. I'll get through these last 5 weeks of school. Oh, yah kno what I think about. My bro, he's got a blog too, yet his blog is.. kind weird. Oh wells. Hopefully making it to sumemr will calm me down and get through the shit. 

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~Cammie-kins~