It's Okay

I was.. content yesterday. Yet now, I'm on the edge of cryign every single moment. My ex, Brian, all I did yesterday was try to help, he shut me out. I also found out. He cried for me, I always thought he didn't, that he got over it, just another thing I didn't appreciate. When I tried so hard to help, even though I know he isn't alright. So now, I'm done. I quit. I'll make myself not care. He doesn't need or want it, he lashed out at me. So now, he won't need me, he doesn't care about me. I wont' care about him anymore. I'll cry, hrut until I get to the point that I won't think about him. I buried his dog tag. I'm throwing away his stuffed animal. He doesn't need me? Then fine, I won't need him. All I wanted was him to be happy. I went nuts.. I cut myself, whispering.."Is he happy.. is he happy yet?" I was going crazy. I finally talked to Jackie, she gave me advice, that from now on I'll take. I'm going to focus on making MYSELF better. I'm always so worried about everyone, what I need to do is heal myself. I'll stay up and hope. I'm gonna stand up, I wont' feel the guilt. I won't care about him, I'm only care fix msyelf from now on because I know that, no one else will. I also kno that, people will accept me, no matter. I think I should txt up michelle. I need the booze. Haha.~