I'm Back From Hawaii. Awesome Trip it was. Incredible. 

Tomorrow is my first Dragonboat practice. Hopefully I'll do good. I plan on talking a lot more later on but I am so tired so I'll do a short one. 

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Sometimes I think. It's one or the other. I picked the wrong one. Lost a lot in the process. 

I am single and lonely. Taking life as it comes, one step at a time. It still hurts sometimes. I remember those old days, when people used to say we were the perfect couple. That we were so cute together. Well.. things are never perfect, and never are people. I made tons of mistakes. 

Well the last few days have been quite odd. I met Brian's friend, and we started talking, and I gotta say. We got a lot in common and I feel like I can finally talk to someone that might understand how I might have felt and say what I want without being judged and someone that can relate becuase he knows Brian and that I might be able to trust a person like that. Maybe I can finally let go of all the shit I've had on my back from the start. Maybe, maybe not. 

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A Few Songs. I can Dedicate to The Guys that Broke My Heart. 

To Brian.

Love Remains the Same - Gavin Rossdale

Don't Change - Elliot Yamin

Forever - Claude Kelly 

My Mistake - Shiny 

Won't Even Start - David Choi

To Kenny.

No Surprise - Daughtry

Used To Be - Ilya

Womanizer - Britney Spears

Strong - Jordyn Taylor

Tears - Unknown

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I always talk about them. No more Kenny. Brian still remains. His memory keeps me happy. His goodbye made me cry. But he was kind. He was gentle. Always loving. And I feel okay. He was my first love. Still a part of me hangs onto him. I don't know why. 

Kenny's goodbye. Filled me with Anger. Hate. Regret. He was a player. Way too fun I lost myself. The old Kenny I loved with everything. The memories kept me insane. But then he broke my heart. And I was set free. So I guess I can thank him for the painful memories that made me stronger. 

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Now for me. I can plainly say that. I am a crazy laughing bunch of energy. Then I am a depressive emo who has the scars from pain. Then there is the dirty dark side, that craves alocohol and sex. Which I take much pleasure in everything. Haha.