Paranoid.

I stole the puck from an air hockey game. It was cool. Then my Coach told me to put it back or he'd call the cops on me.

And I realize. 

I've done so much shit..there is no going back. I'm a horrible person and I'll stay that way. If the cops come and take me, then I guess I deserve it. I would just hurt the people I care about even more. I'm always messing up, I'm always hurting the people I care about. It what the scars are for. If the cops come and take me. If they handcuff me. If I get thrown in jail. I'll rot. I would commit suicide. I wouldn't take it at all. I would get rid of this world, and maybe I'll find a place where I belong. So I would sleep forever in my dreams. No one can make me happy, no one knows how to cheer me up. Look what I've become. I am what I am. I care about things yes. But if it did happen, then. I still wouldn't go back. The scars remind me of all the things i've done wrong in my life. The pain hurts more than anything else. I did it for fun and nothing else. I'm not a nice girl. I never will be. 

I'm never good enough anyway. Not for anyone. So take me away, I'll rot in jail, I don't belong anywhere. Nowhere. 

If I am kicked from the team, then I'll do nothing. I'm worthless anyway. Who needs me.